Spring but not Spring

This weather is weird, man. I don't know what to make of it. On the one hand, I love the cold, and I really am enjoying every last drop of it that we're having...but on the other hand, I pulled my spring/summer wardrobe out like a month and a half ago, and...I haven't been able to wear any of it without throwing a sweater on top! Today was the last straw, though. I got new flip-flops (finally!).

Let me tell you a story about flip-flops: I don't like them. Never have. Not the flimsy, $2, Old Navy kind that everyone wears, anyway. I agree that they're easy to slip on as you run out the door, and they're cheap and easy to replace, but come on. They're ugly, and cheap, and I refuse to wear them. (Well, the cheap rubber kind at least.)

I do have a pair of Diane von Furstenberg flip-flops (that, for the record, are almost two years old and still functioning), and last year I bought a pair of black Polo ones. Unfortunately I made the mistake of throwing them in the washing machine once, and they did not survive that too well, so I've been on the lookout for a replacement pair for a while now...and today I found some! Josh and I were at TJ Maxx when I spotted these adorable black (Coach) flip-flops with a sweet little bow on them.



And I bought them. Duh. They're plastic, which makes for easy cleaning, and way durable, and, they actually have grip on the bottom! Bonus. These are easily going to become my go-to slip on everyday shoe.

Yesterday my newest bracelet arrived, a Marc by Marc Jacobs black/white leather piece, very cute:



I love it! (bottom one is also Marc by Marc Jacobs, but I already had it...just hadn't taken a picture yet!)

Anyway, I have one more thing coming, a dress that should be here Thursday, and then it's back to a self-imposed shopping ban for April.

Today (Tuesday) was the only day this week I didn't have a doctors appointment. Yesterday I saw the orthopedic specialist, tomorrow I see the psychiatrist, Thursday the eye doctor, and Friday I have an MRI on my knee. It sucks. I absolutely hate going to the doctor, any doctor, but it is a necessary evil. I'm just ready for it to be over with! At least yesterday's was the only early appointment, the rest of them are in the afternoon, so I don't have to get up early.

In other news, I kind of got off-track with my goals this month. Like I said before, it ended up being a really strange month, but I know that's no excuse. Obviously I'm still restricted from working out (doctors orders), but I'm trying to get back to eating right. I did ok while my parents were here, but since I was sick last week, I wasn't eating much at all, and now I'm trying to get back in the habit of cooking daily. (Which is only hard because doing that produces a lot of dishes, and loading/unloading the dishwasher is painful due to a lot of knee-bending.) I have only lost one pound so far this month - I'm not really pleased with that, but I'll take it. It's better than a gain.

Since I've got a lot going on the rest of the week I might not have time to post until the weekend, but I hope everyone is having a good week! Maybe it'll warm up and I can wear my new shoes out sometime this weekend! :)

Weekly weekend update. Sort of.

Wow, so this week got all kinds of crazy. It was totally my fault though. One of the shows that we watch regularly is Bunheads, and we always see previews for Pretty Little Liars...so Sunday night I made the mistake of telling Josh that maybe we should go back and watch the pilot to see if it's any good.

Famous last words.

Less than 48 hours later we were done with season one, our sleep schedules were non-existent, and I was having nightmares about being A.

Needless to say we decided to do ourselves a favor and made a pact to not watch more than one episode at a time going forward...

Luckily Josh had a light work week (well, I think it was light, I slept through the day on Monday, Tuesday, and most of Wednesday) so he would go to bed after I got up and made breakfast at four or five in the afternoon, but then on Thursday he was asked if he could do DJ at the club...that night. He hadn't slept at all that day (after waking up at midnight on Wednesday night) so he took a two hour nap and off we went. He ended up playing again Friday night (but at least he was prepared!)

It was a lot of fun, but Thursday night we took the stairs (it's on the third level of this huge complex downtown) and then when no one else showed up to play I had to run down and get the rest of Joshs cds and when I woke up on Friday I finally admitted that my knee is in pretty bad shape and went to the doctor. They referred me to a specialist and gave me some painkillers, which only added to my weird sleep cycle. I napped all Friday afternoon, and most of today. But at least my knee doesn't hurt as much! (Taking the elevator on Friday night helped too.)

Well...that's all I got. Check my tumblr for pictures of our exciting club nights (which mostly involve Josh playing and me standing around drinking water and taking pictures.)

Oh, goal update...ended February with a 7 pound weight loss, but then my eating got all crazy this weekend, and the doctor said that other than some light stretching, I can't do anything involving my knee, so hopefully I can get to see the orthopedic surgeon asap, and get past this nonsense. I have a good menu planned this week, and am going to focus on arms until I get the okay to do more, but I'm ready to get back to normal. Normal sleep (even though normal for me is 5 am to noon), normal eating, and normal anti-social life. (Ok, not really, I enjoy going out occasionally, but two nights in a row, with no warning, and on days that I had missed meals was...a bit much. Just a bit.)

Spring projects & weekend words

I've been feeling more productive the past few days...I've managed to organize a lot of stuff in the bedroom, vacuum 90% of it, pulled out all my warm weather shoes, (even though the weather still isn't cooperating...which is cool, I don't mind extra winter) and even have a few spring projects to work on this week.

First up is a simple hem, but a major update...I bought these as pants last year, and then cut side slits, but only ended up wearing them a couple of times. I decided yesterday to cut them into shorts. There's still about a 3" slit on each side, and I like them much better now!

I'm also hoping to find time to make a bracelet...based on these gorgeous Chanel bracelets from the Resort 2013 collection:

Here's a sneak peek at what I'll be using for mine:

I'm actually pretty excited about that, I've had that scrap of seersucker for a while, but couldn't ever seem to find a project that seemed good enough to use it on...same goes for that anchor charm. A friend of mine gave it to me a while back, it used to be a clip-on earring, but it's long since lost the clip, and I don't have the pair anyway.

One more fashion trend I've been craving for spring is a good pair of lace shorts. I've had my eye on this pair of alice + olivia ones, but was pleasantly surprised to find these really similar (but more reasonably priced) ones in the new Pearl by Georgina of Marchesa collection at J.C. Pennys! I'm hoping to get them next month.

Here's a side-by-side comparison of them:


...Pretty sure I can find plenty of things to do with the $335 that I'll save!

Our weekend has been pretty uneventful...as usual. Well except for Josh creating his own little fiasco last night/this morning. He got drunk, and I went to bed, and apparently some weird stuff went down but he doesn't remember anything. I think I'm happier not knowing.

We walked to Family Dollar this afternoon because we forgot dish soap while we were at the grocery store yesterday, and tonight Josh grilled steaks and a lobster tail, and I made the saffron & lobster mashed potatoes. They were good, but not $36 dollar good. The saffron threads didn't seem to add anything special. I may make them again because we still have a bunch of saffron left, and I really don't know what else to use it for, but I think I'll have to mess with the recipe some...maybe add cheese. I don't know. I feel the same way about the spicy shrimp dip I made last night. Good but not great.

Anyway, on the menu this week are a couple of new dishes (superfood salad, and pineapple pepper pork chops) along with some of my recipes (spaghetti, crock pot jambalaya, and almond crusted cod). Not as adventurous as last week, but that's ok.

Still doing good on my goals for this month. Should be able to finish the month with only having bought 4 things, (sunglasses, a skirt, and two sports bras) and with a decent weight loss. (Not quite 10 pounds, but that was a long shot for a 28 day month anyway.) So far, five pounds this month, so if I can bring it down one more by the end of the week, that'll be perfect! Hopefully my knee will stay calm and I can get in my normal amount of workout time this week.

Well for some reason (oh, maybe because I'm on my 4th cup of Mio for the day) I have a ton of energy, so I'm going to go use it productively...or just dance around the living room. Whatevs.

On working out

Whoa.

When we got our kettle bells, Josh and I looked up a bunch of videos to get started; we figured out proper form, and learned a pretty good variety of exercises, then sort of put together our own personal routines, and have been doing those ever since.

I focus mainly on swings, and try to get in as many of those as I can. I started with 100, by doing five sets of 20, then moved to four sets of 25, and then upgraded to 120 swings by doing four sets of 30. Today I upped the number of swings I do at once to 50. I thought I was going to pass out during that second set! It was intense! I think I'll do one more set of 25, then call it a day. (That's not all I do, though, that's just what I do the most of. I also try to get in about 50 reps of various arm exercises, as well as doing a few non-kettle bell things, like squats, jumping jacks, leg lifts, etc.) Right now I'm still using the 20 lb kettle bell - once I work up to more than 200 swings I plan to move up to the 25 lb one and start back at 100 swings. Or whatever feels right at that time.

So far I've lost 7 pounds. (Well, since I weighed myself and started keeping track. That was on Jan. 14) I think that's pretty decent progress for 5 weeks. I know that it seems slow when I watch people on The Biggest Loser losing much more in much less time, and I know that if I put in the effort and worked out 4 hours a day I might see numbers like that, but I don't want to. I want to focus on a lifestyle that I can maintain for the rest of my life. I didn't gain an extra 50 pounds in 5 months, I gained it over 5 years...and while I certainly hope it doesn't take that long to come off, I think that 10 months to a year is a much more reasonable time frame. I'm not going to stress out over it.

I can feel a change already, in my arms, and in my stomach. My muscles feel more toned, and I feel...taller, almost. Like my arms and legs are longer. I know that doesn't make sense, but it's how I feel. And it feels good!

My lung function is also improving, which is great. When I was a senior in high school, one of the things that happened during The Unexplained Illness was both of my lungs collapsing halfway...leaving me with, essentially, one lung worth of breathing capacity. A few months later, when we moved to Arkansas, I lost my little breathing machine that was helping me improve my lung function, and so I just kind of used that as an excuse for the past 7 years...I can't run because my lungs are broken, can't do cardio because my lungs are broken, and I'm so tired of it! I know very well, and have all along, that I can do breathing exercises on my own to improve my lungs, and that physical activity is good, and also helps, even when it hurts. I've just been lazy and scared of a little bit of discomfort.

I'm finding, though, that getting back in shape after so many years of being out of it, is all about being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Pushing your body to it's limits isn't always fun: it's painful, and exhausting, and sometimes even scary. But - it's worth it. It's worth it because the alternative is lying in a hospital bed, sick, scared, dying, and knowing you could have prevented it. It's worth it because the end result is a body that can run, jump, lift, swing, dance, and hike, comfortably.

Anyway, I just wanted to document all of this, because at any other point in the past, I would have already given up by now. I always thought that if I wasn't losing 10 - 15 pounds a month then why even bother. I'd get discouraged, and think that I must just be destined to be fat. I know, I know, but it's true, that's really how I'd feel. This time, though...it just feels different. There's no impatience, no feelings of discouragement because I didn't lose 100 pounds overnight. Even my motivation is different - I don't have any illusions about growing 5 inches and turning into a willowy supermodel. I know that's not how I'm built. Instead, I'm going for fit. I'll always have solid, muscular legs, thanks to both my mothers genes and my years as a gymnast. Might as well make the most of it!


I am not looking forward to going to the doctor tomorrow later today. I know that I need to, because no matter how much I want to be able to control my sickness with a healthy diet, it's really not up to me. And that's not my fault. So, I'll go, and I'll explain all my weird delusions, and hope that maybe there's some way they can fix me. I'm going to show up on less than five hours of sleep, though, so I may go in there and sound so crazy they just lock me up. DO THEY STILL LOCK PEOPLE UP? I feel like that's outdated, but maybe it's just kept quiet. Great, now I'm really worried. THANKS, INTERNET.

Fantastical.

Last year I pinned/posted a lot of 'around the house' type things, home-improvement projects and the like, and that was cool and all (still is, I mean), but for some reason I just feel like this year of my life is going to be geared more towards fashion.

I think it's what I've always loved, but for some reason was too scared to really express. I don't know if that makes sense. Like, when I was younger, obviously my parents bought my clothes, and I wasn't that great at shopping. I read Lucky, and Teen Vogue, and would cut out stuff I liked and paste it onto printer paper and make 'inspirations sheets' (aka mood-boards, and now, pinterest), but my style has always been sort of eclectic, and a lot of times my interpretation didn't turn out the way I imagined it, and I'd get frustrated and just end up wearing jeans and t-shirts from ropa, and spending the majority of my shopping budget on nice purses and shoes.

In the past few years, though, my justification for not expressing my love for fashion has been more superficial: I've felt like I'm too fat to deserve to wear nice stuff. I know that's kind of ridiculous, but it's true. I justified it all sorts of ways, mostly by claiming it was a tactic to save money (which, if you know about my addiction to Marc Jacobs sunglasses, you would know is not in my character.) Now, of course, I realize that I've had it all backwards; wearing nice things at any size is what gives you confidence, because feeling like you look good really does make a huge difference. Of course I would figure that out after losing weight, and while on a shopping strike. Oh well...I guess the up side to it is that I don't have too many things that I'll be conflicted about having to get rid of, or worry about altering.

What really sucks, though, is that while I feel like I have finally identified my personal style, and come into my own, so to speak, I can't do anything about it at the moment, because I am still losing weight rather consistently, and should continue to do so for the next 8 - 10 months (ideally), so I don't need to spend money on really nice stuff that I won't be able to wear for very long. (Sunglasses don't count. Those will fit forever.)

Well, on a completely different note, do you like how I talked about things being weird, and the next few months being...unpredictable, and then proceeded to post nearly every day and not mention any of that again? Haha! Well, the two Situations are still looming, but the unpleasant one turned out to be a little less unpleasant than we first thought, and the second is still exciting, and still in the works, but...well, there's really nothing we can do about either of them now...other than cut back on our spending. Which we're bad at. Really bad at.

One thing you should never do, apparently, is type 'Marc Jacobs' into the search box on pinterest...because you will, inevitably, buy something. And even if it's on sale, it's still probably moderately expensive  absolutely necessary for life and a totally justified purchase.

Sorry, I think my dogs disgusting fart muddled my brain for a minute there.

Since Aaron was here the past few days, him and Josh have been joined at the hip so I've been doing my own thing (when I wasn't cooking food for two humans that can really put it away!), which has mostly consisted of dumping a lot of junk from my childhood, and designating even more stuff to be donated. I did, however, manage to pack away all my winter boots (ironic, since we're under a winter weather/ice accumulation advisory over the next couple of days) and vacuum approximately 2 square feet of my bedroom. It's progress. I did a lot of laundry and a lot of dishes, so don't judge me!

When I was in high school, I would let people write on my pants. It started with one boy (duhh) who drew a skull (♥) and then, in an effort to disguise my insanely obvious favoritism, I had to let other people write/draw too. And then it became my trademark, and everyone had to write on me. (I would like to say it never got weird, but it kind of did, and I kind of liked it.) Well, the point of all this is that I found the one pair of pants that managed to survive, and am conflicted on what to do with them. I'm pretty sure no one out there wants a pair of pants that says 'This leg belongs to Fred" on the back left thigh, or "I CRAP PURPLE!" in purple sharpie...on the butt. And yet I can't bring myself to throw them away...they're so much more valuable to me than the normal stuff like yearbooks or even pictures. I think I'm keeping them. Ugh. Now I just need to figure out how to fold them up tiny enough to fit into my memory box.

Ever since I opened up and talked about my past, I've slept better, and not had any more weird dreams about where I grew up. I'm glad I got it all off my chest; it really was about time, I guess. It's amazing how immediate the reaction was. Two weeks ago thinking about that place would have made me angry, scared, and probably given me an anxiety attack, but today I am indifferent; it's there, I know some people there, but it's just a place; it can't hurt me, it never could, and I am not defined by it.

Wow, it's almost 5 am. That really snuck up on me. I should probably get some sleep.

Random thoughts pt 5

I don't understand the fascination with British accents...or any accents, in general. Not in a "those people need to talk better English" kind of way, just in that I don't find them sexy, or exotic. I'm just kind of indifferent to them, really.

While I was cleaning out the storage room this past weekend I found a box of stuff that my mom had given me from when I was little. It had some of my rock collection, a weird straw hat that I got when we visited relatives in New Mexico, a pair of ruby slippers that my mom made me when I was obsessed with The Wizard of Oz (when I was 3), a bib that I guess was mine (eww), and my first ballet slippers, among other stuff like birthday cards and postcards...and I threw it all away.

I had to wake up at 10:45 today...so I'm exhausted right now. That is incredibly early for me. I have to get up even earlier on Friday, though. I probably should just go to bed, but I wouldn't be able to fall asleep anyway.

On the menu this week: those amazing stuffed bell peppers, again! They're just so great. Josh also asked for a repeat of the jambalaya I made on Tuesday (my own recipe, maybe I'll share it someday), steaks as the main course for some saffron & lobster mashed potatoes, (sorry, don't remember where I found that recipe) and I'm trying out two new ones, both in the crock pot. One involves beer, brown sugar, and kielbasa, and the other is beef carnitas tacos. Very excited for both, I love crock pot recipes...they make my day easier.

I got the most amazing grey striped maxi skirt at TJ Maxx on Friday. It is perfection. I, on the other hand, am a hobbit, so I have to take it up a couple of few inches before I can wear it.

I really like the way I've been feeling the past month. Not only physically, but mentally as well. I truly believe that having a purpose when I get up every day (even if it is just to cook our meals and clean up afterwards) is keeping me from falling into another pit of depression. It probably helps that (almost) everything I cook is pretty healthy, too. Even though I haven't worked out the past couple of days because I hurt my knee, I just adjusted my calories and am still logging everything, and staying just below my goal.

My dog weighs 143 pounds. He is a monster! (Actually he's a giant spoiled baby who slobbered on everyone who would let him at the vet's office today.)

My brother got engaged! I'm very happy for him and his fiancé, Marla. She's awesome, and I'm excited to have her be a part of our family. Also? I finally have a niece to buy girly things for.

In case anyone isn't aware, saffron threads are...kind of pricey. I had never bought them before, and I was a bit surprised when Josh returned from grocery shopping yesterday and told me that them and the lobster tails were the two most expensive things he'd bought. (Ironically, they're going in the same dish. Guess we better savor it!)

It stormed pretty crazy here today, and I was on the phone with my brother when it started hailing. I hung up immediately and ran outside to pull the car in, but by the time I did that it was mostly over anyway. And then I was just cold and wet and angry.

I found this dress at Dillard's on Friday. I actually kind of liked it, I just thought it was a bit much - I'd have preferred it as a skirt. Or tights!

And since I keep talking about food and health, but not really giving too many examples of what I'm doing, here's my food log from today. This is a pretty typical day. (Although I actually came in below my total daily calorie goal, and both my fat and protein goals, and went over on sugar, but I'm not really strict on that since it's mostly natural.) Also, the 'snacks' category actually depicts my dinner. I try to follow the rule of thumb to have breakfast be the largest meal and then work down from there to having dinner be the smallest...so my dinner everyday is a smoothie. Most days if my calorie total was that low (I aim for about 1550) I'd have a snack of some sort to raise it, but tonight I'm just too tired to put in the effort...

(You can see what I meant when I said I get a lot of fiber.)

I noticed while skinning (peeling?) almonds today that the empty skins look like cockroach wings, so I think I'll find a way to use them come Halloween. I'll probably just end up scaring myself though.

Part of me wants to go full-paleo next month, but another part of me thinks that while it's do-able, it's also kind of selfish. I don't want to force Josh into it, he's already been really understanding with me having to give up gluten, and he's cut his eating out almost completely now that I'm cooking at home everyday, and I don't want to mess that up by restricting even more, and forcing him to fend for himself. I mean, it's not like I'm eating unhealthy - my intake of processed foods is minimal, and my intake of fast food is cut out completely, so I think I'm doing ok. I may just keep doing what I'm doing, maybe throw in a 10 day juice cleanse while he's out of town (but oh man, cleaning my juicer is intense) and just wait it out.

I decided to go with major side slits on my velvet 90s dress. I figured if I don't like it after a few wears then I can change it, but shortening it feels too permanent.

Ok...I think I'm going to go find something to do that involves less effort. (Yeah, I'm that tired.) And cold, I need to go close the windows.

Food and Fat Tuesday.

I slept 10 hours last night. I think I'm dying. I don't understand why I am so tired all the time! I used to think it was a side effect of my depression, but I've been doing really well the past six weeks; eating right and working out consistently has definitely helped improve my mood, but I still sleep like a hibernating bear.

I keep hoping that maybe it's because I'm doing a lot more than I used to (I'm cooking at least two full meals a day now, in addition to doing three or four 10 minute workouts through-out the day, along with my normal housewife & pet-mom duties) and that after a while it'll balance out, but it seems like after six weeks my body should be used to it by now...right? I really don't want to have to go to the doctor, but I know that it could also be something like a thyroid problem, which would also explain why, despite the incredibly dedicated way I've been eating/working out, weight loss has been slow. Ughh. Why can't I just be normal?

Oh well, not going to dwell on that now.

 Goal update: still doing really well, on all of them! Food logging, calorie-counting, working out, and not buying anything - all in check. Man, I'm awesome.

Since today is Mardi Gras, I'm making jambalaya in the crock-pot! I've been doing amazing on my goal of planning out meals. Usually we plan for a couple of days at a time, and we never buy meat too far in advance, because we never bother to put it in the freezer. Anyway, on Thursday of last week I planned out meals for everyday this week, made a huge grocery list, and we went and bought everything. Then, when I got home, I immediately portioned out the beef and chicken into ziplocs with one pound each, and threw them in the freezer. I also cleared some space on the fridge and put the menu up there, so now everyday I see what's on the menu for the next day and pull that meat down to the fridge to thaw! We try not to have the same meat two days in a row: this week we're have two days of beef, two of chicken, one pork, one fish, and as usual, Sunday is soup day. (AKA leftover day, or Mandi-doesn't-cook-so-fend-for-yourself day)

I'm also having fun finding new recipes that are gluten-free, healthy, and that we both really like. So far my new favorite is beef, black bean, and brown rice stuffed bell peppers. So amazing. Coming in at a close second was this shrimp fried rice. Another one that surprised both of us with how well a bunch of random things tasted together was the quinoa-chicken-sweet potato stir fry. I was so worried about that one, that initially I didn't even tell Josh everything that was in it, because I was afraid he wouldn't even try it: but he did, and we both liked it!

One that we haven't tried yet (because I just found it this weekend) is this one for beef carnitas made in the crock-pot...definitely putting that on next weeks menu! Delicious looking, and I love things made in the crock-pot. So easy. (All of these are on my food board on pinterest, fyi.)

I even made my own delicious recipe for almond crusted cod, using the leftover almond bits after I made almond milk. It was so good that I'm making it again this week (I have lots of almond leftover - I used two pounds of them and made a whole jug of almond milk.) Maybe I'll measure stuff and document my recipe...

Well thanks, internet, I have officially made myself hungry. I'm going to go find something to eat while I wait for my jambalaya to finish up...oh, and I think it's about time I started cooking the rice that's going to go in it, too!

The ol' closet switch-a-roo time

I was in a funk today. No reason in particular, my mood has actually been fairly stable lately, which I think is mostly due to how well I've been eating. But for some reason, last night I went on this huge rant about food, and where it comes from, and how much I hate not having a good farmers market, or a Whole Foods, and not having choices in general. At our store, if you want to buy organic, you have maybe two choices, of the very limited supply of stuff that is organic at all. It's frustrating.

But that's not the point. I was saying how well I've been feeling, mentally and physically, thanks to all the healthy eating I've been doing. Until I didn't feel like cooking today, and I broke down and made nachos. Oh well. They were homemade, and I only put black beans, cheese, and salsa on them, so you know, not terrible as far as nachos go, but still.

I just felt lazy today. And I'm ok with that. Usually Sunday is my day off from cooking (we call it 'soup day' but we rarely eat soup), but I know myself, and for my own sanity, taking today off too was the right decision. I've got a great meal planned for tomorrow, so right back to healthy cooking and eating it is!

I'm pretty proud of myself for not freaking out about this. In the past, if I made one bad choice, I'd end up binging and then giving up, but I just don't feel that desire anymore. I had my 'treat' so to speak, but still kept within my calorie range, and didn't beat myself up over it. That is progress!

And just now, I went ahead and switched my closets out, which means I pulled out my spring and summer stuff out into my closet, and put all my winter stuff in the guest room closet. (Which is my storage closet.) That definitely made me feel better! Nothing like shopping in your own closet!! Found a few things I'd forgotten about, and designated a few more things to donate. Tomorrow I'm going to clean up in both the craft room and the bedroom a little bit, and then hopefully switch my shoes out too. The weather here has been wet but mild this past week, and it rarely gets cold again after the first week of February, so I think it'll be ok. If not, then I guess I'll just stay inside and crank up the heat! (Not really. It's not like my stuff is getting boxed up and stuck in an attic or anything.)

Oh, my bracelet came today too! Super cute. I think I need to make a bracelet/watch holder thing-a-magig somehow. I have a jewelry holder in my bathroom but it's full! Maybe I'll find something to use while I'm cleaning tomorrow. Sounds like a plan!

Next week we have to take Orion to the vet. It's time for his rabies vaccine, and we have to weigh him and get some more heart-worm pills. We'll find out whether he's hit 150 yet or not! (Remember, he weighed 105 six months ago!) Here he is on Sunday, trying to join the Puppy Bowl and slobbering on the TV:

So...yeah, he's filling out. We'll see what the damage is. If he's at 150 though, I think he's going to have to take 3 pills. Crazy! That picture kind of embodies his whole life attitude though - he has no idea he's not a little puppy anymore.

Well, for whatever weird reason, now that I did my bi-annual closet switch-out, I'm kind of in the mood to do more cleaning/organizing/rearranging! I'm off to find something to do. :)

Goals for February

Well, I did really well this month in keeping with my two main goals - not perfect, admittedly, since I did buy three things (although in my defense it seemed like I had a good reason at the time). My food goal is the clear winner this month, as I managed to log my food all but three days (!!) and I kept intake under my calorie limit for all but one day. (I had a giant chocolate bar on my anniversary...not sorry.) I found that I'm actually a lot better at keeping my carb/protein/fat balance in check than I had ever imagined I could be, and also that I am the queen of hitting insanely high fiber intake goals. (47 grams yesterday, for example.)

As a result of that, my goal for February is to focus on working out consistently. I'm shooting for at least 30 minutes a day, 4 day a week. (5 would be nice, but I know how out of shape I currently am, and I'm thinking realistically here.) My kettle bell set will be here on Friday, so that's what I'll focus on for the month.

I'm also re-instating part of my no-buy goal: this will apply only to clothes. (I've lost 7 pounds so far, and obviously hope to lose more, so there's no sense in buying new clothes that will hopefully be too big soon.) I do, however, have a pair of shoes that I've had my eye on for a couple of months now, and I think I have Josh convinced, so maybe I can buy them sometime soon. (They're Prada's, hence the need for convincing.)

That reminds me, my anniversary present got here yesterday!

When we got married, I got a ring, but I didn't get to choose it. A few months later I got another ring, one I chose, but it still felt too conventional. I've always felt like having a diamond was so...boring. I know that I could have skipped the tradition altogether and not even worn a ring, but that's not exactly what I wanted to do. I still wanted a symbol of marriage, just something that was more a symbol of our marriage, and not just a 'back off, I'm married' ring. I considered a pearl, a black diamond, and moonstone, before deciding that a sapphire made sense because it was both Josh's birthstone, and the traditional stone for 5 years of marriage.

 I also got a free pearl necklace with purchase. Awesome. If you've ever seen my old ring, then it's pretty obvious that Josh did well in choosing my absolute favorite style. This was a long tangent.

Anyway, goals are set, and if I win then I've got a nice prize for myself picked out already. Unless those Prada's become my prize. I could live with that.

I don't really know what would constitute 'winning' though. Let's just say losing 10 pounds? That's a lofty goal, but I think I can do it. Especially with the help of those wonderful, awful kettle bells. I'm terrified and excited.

Random updates

Ok, ok, I know, I promised a gluten free product review and didn't deliver. It's coming, at some point in time, but I'm going to quit setting timelines and just do it when I do it.

In other news, we may not have to travel after all. I really don't know. Neither does Josh at this point. Either way, I'm going to stop talking about that too, until we know something concrete.

Today was our 5 year wedding anniversary. We spent 90% of it in our pajamas and watching old seasons of NCIS. (I've recently gotten Josh hooked, so we're catching up on whatever we can't catch on USA marathons.) We did go out for dinner, and afterward made a run to Kroger for chocolate. My present didn't get here yet, mostly because BoA is stupid. (Long story.)

We finally got our Wal-mart gift cards (from the Black Friday deal we used to buy our phones) and we both spent them immediately - Josh ordered a giant bean bag and I ordered a kettle bell set. I can't wait for it to get here! I've been pretty dedicated with my working out this past month, and I'm excited about trying something different.

I've also been doing really good with eating - today's anniversary dinner marked only the third time I've eaten out this month. Everything else I've been cooking or preparing at home. I do keep a few frozen things as well as some cereal for days when I'm feeling lazy, but otherwise I've been consistent with my meal cooking. I'm quite proud of myself, and, honestly, am actually kind of glad that we might not have to go anywhere next month - trips are always hard for me to recover from, and in the past any time I've lost my momentum in my pursuit of healthiness, it's always been because of travel.

I really want to dye my hair again. Blueish/teal and purple. I don't know when it'll happen, but hopefully soon. I also wish my hair would hurry up and grow out. I didn't mind it being short (like really short) but I have absolutely had it with this funky in-between stage.

In case anyone is wondering, I haven't worked on the table and chairs because we haven't had a day warm enough. Believe me, I really want to have a comfortable place to sit and eat meals, so as soon as we have two or three days of the temperature being consistently over 65°, I'll hop on that project. In the meantime, though, I'm doing my best to enjoy the last couple of weeks of winter. (This is the south - for all I know Spring could arrive tomorrow.)

Christmas lights are so weird. I have two sets still up, and I don't intend to take them down, but one set, of pink ones, that I have in the kitchen, I've had for years. Almost ten years, I think - they're the old kind, green wire, single bulbs, and there's not one dead bulb. The other set, blue icicle lights, are from last year, and already there are two decent sized sections that are dead! Wish I could find more of the old kind...

This week, on Wednesday Josh and I drove up West Mountain and watched the sunset, and I took a bunch of pictures. Then, on Thursday, we had a gorgeous, pink and purple sunset. Figures. I managed to get one good shot out the window while we were crossing the lake on our way to get groceries, but it made me so mad! One day! Ughhh. Oh well. I'll catch the next one, hopefully. Here's the window shot:

Monday musings

I'm one week into my month of not buying anything and so far so good! It kind of helps that I have stuff I ordered last month that's being delivered sporadically throughout the month, so even if I'm not buying anything, I'm still getting stuff. Today this bracelet came:

So pretty! I love it.

Oh, I wanted to mention this too; I've never really watched The Biggest Loser, not from the start anyway. Occasionally I would catch an episode here or there, or tune in to the finale, but today I had just finished my workout when it came on, so I sat down to watch. It was week two, so this is the earliest I've ever gotten involved, so to speak, and they had a consultation with a doctor for the results of some tests, and something he said really hit home with me. He told one gentleman, "If you had leukemia, wouldn't it be worth it to take two hours out of your day for chemotherapy?"

It just clicked, you know? That all the times I've made excuses for not working out, or for eating a slice of pizza, what I've really been doing is keeping myself sick. If I had any other illness, I wouldn't refuse treatment or cheat on taking medicine - I would do what I needed to do to get better. I sat there, stunned for a minute, letting that philosophy penetrate my mind, and then I got up and started doing more mini-workouts during commercial breaks. Squats, weights, crunches and leg lifts; these are my treatment and healthy food is my medicine. This is no longer a ploy to lose weight that can get tossed on the back burner when something else comes up - this is my life, and I need to be healthy in order to enjoy it to the fullest.

Which brings up another point; my schedule, or lack thereof to be exact. All my life it's been the same - school or work on weekdays, and weekends to catch up on everything else. But yesterday, while I was trying to load the dishwasher in a commercial break during the NCIS marathon Josh and I were watching I realized: I've been doing it all wrong.

My only job now is to be a housewife, and all that stuff that I've been trying to squeeze into a weekend, should be stretched out over the week. My weekdays should focus on cooking three healthy meals for us, picking up after each one so the kitchen mess doesn't pile up, and doing one chore or cleaning one room per day (so as not to get overwhelmed), and my weekends should be mine; to do what I want to, whether it's go on a shopping spree or lay at home watching TV. I need to flip my entire way of thinking around!

Anyway, I've been doing good with my other goal of logging my food intake. I realized that (fortunately!) I haven't been eating as many calories as I thought I was, but I also know that I need to cut out or cut down on a couple of things cheese. I'm trying, and so far I have, and since my moment of clarity today, everything suddenly seems so much easier. I know it won't all be, and I know that I will have moments where I struggle, but...I don't know, I just feel different somehow.

I'm putting together a review post of all my favorite gluten free products, so hopefully I can get that done and posted soon!

Giving

Hmm. So designating clothing to donate has gotten easier each time I peruse my closet and we have now reached a point where I have SO MUCH to give away that I am having trouble figuring out how to get it all packed up. Bags? I'd be hauling like 20 walmart sacks worth of stuff! But I don't really have any extra boxes lying around either. Maybe I'll find one in the storage room, I plan on giving that a once over sometime this weekend, along with the kitchen.

And apparently Belle felt that I didn't have enough to do this weekend, because this morning she knocked down the curtains in our bedroom. I don't know how she did it, but she brought down the curtains, rod, the rod holder, and even managed to pull the screws out of the wall.

Also, remember how I talked about tossing out a bunch of make-up? I did, but I couldn't really follow through with the whole 'anything more than a year old' statement because it seems that I haven't really bought any makeup in the past year. Oops. I guess 2012 was the year of clothes. I only bought one purse, and...four pairs of shoes, I think. I'm probably forgetting a pair of shoes (or maybe even two) but still, that's pretty tame for me. I used to be far more concerned with purses and shoes than clothes, but now my focus has shifted, and once I get my Balenciaga, I can't see myself wanting any other purse ever again. (Ok, that's a lie, but it will definitely keep me happy for a while.)

Anyway, here's a (poorly lit) picture of my newly organized makeup shelf, followed by a shot of all the clothes I have ready to be packed up and donated. (Not shown are three pieces of fabric that I'm also getting rid of - they're currently in the washing machine so they'll be fresh and unwrinkled.)

Excuse the preening cat in the background. She is thoroughly convinced that since we moved that bed to the craft/guest room it is now hers.

Hopefully I can get all the donating/organizing out of the way this weekend, and then get back to posting some crafts, it's been a while and going through all this fabric has got me itching to make something!

Fresh.

I know I talked a bit about goals yesterday, but since today is officially a new start, a fresh canvas on which to paint my twenty-seventh year of life, I'm going to elaborate a bit more on what I want to do this year, how, and why.

I don't normally make resolutions; they seem so trivial, and are so often being broken before they've even begun to take hold that I see no real point. But I do know that there are aspects of my life that need change, and a new year is as good a time as any to start the effort towards accomplishing that. So instead of taking all of those goals from yesterday, and breaking my brain by trying to get them all done in the next week, I'm going to focus on one or two each month, cultivate them into habits, and making sure that the change is permanent before moving on to the next thing. Make sense?

This month I have two large goals: not buy anything new, and get back into the habit of logging my food daily.

And while it might not look like it at first glance, they do actually compliment each other. If I can hold back on my shopping, and focus more on eating at home, watching what I eat, then perhaps by the time I do go shopping, it will be for a different size.

The shopping problem is kind of a new thing. (And really, it's not a problem, but I'd like to make sure I have it in check before it becomes one.) For a long time (five years, to be exact) I shopped very minimally. Only when it was absolutely necessary, or when my parents were visiting and my mom took me shopping. It had to do a lot with how broke we were for the first few years we lived in Austin.

Then, slowly, I realized how awesome thrift shopping was; it became an adventure to go to a thrift store, and find the treasures hidden amongst the piles of crap. After we moved here last year, I realized while going through a lot of my clothes just how rarely I splurged on myself and bought clothes new. It was a treat to go to the mall and get new things, and it kind of bugged me. I decided that I deserved nice things, and started buying what I wanted.

Which is good, I think people should buy what they want, and treat themselves nice, but then it became a thing, in which I bought stuff because it was nice, in my size, and/or on sale, and not really because they were something I would wear. And instead of balancing my thrifting with my regular shopping, I've just being on a spree for the past few months, which, along with not getting rid of too much, has resulted in my having two whole packed-to-the-max closets. And that's just being greedy.

I started last night, and am continuing today, to go through my closets and find things to donate that don't fit, or I don't wear. It's a slow process because the first time I went through I only came up with two pairs of pants. Then I thought about it a bunch, and went over again, and got out two more pairs of pants and a shirt I think I wore once. It may take a few times of going over it again (I can already think of another shirt I've only worn once) but I will make a dent in my collection before I allow myself to shop again.

Tucked in along with that goal is my intention to only buy things I really love, and intend to wear over and over. I've always favored very classic pieces, clean lines, and the most basic colors: black, grey, and white. For the past few years, though, especially when I was buying something used, and it was cheap, I've been trying to expand my taste, challenge myself to wear different colors, and honestly? It's useless. I like what I like, and I'm done trying to keep up with fashion trends, or force myself to wear things I don't really like.

It's also, in a way, teaching me a lesson. I feel bad having wasted money on things that I didn't love. Money I could have saved and put towards something I really want (uggh Prada rain boots). Definitely not making that mistake again this year.

As far as food goes, I plan to start by logging everything daily to get an idea of where I'm at, then incorporating changes to meet my nutritional goals. Being gluten-free definitely makes it trickier than before, but I know it can be done. Once I get that in check, then I'll move on to adding in work-outs next month. (That's not to say I'm not doing anything in the way of exercise now, only that it is minimal and mostly consists of walking/jogging, because I want to make my body is getting everything it needs before I start anything intense.) By the end of the year, I want to run a 10K.

I'm posting this all on here as a way to keep myself honest, and hopefully, get some encouragement along the way. So if you're planning anything similar, let me know!