Spring but not Spring

This weather is weird, man. I don't know what to make of it. On the one hand, I love the cold, and I really am enjoying every last drop of it that we're having...but on the other hand, I pulled my spring/summer wardrobe out like a month and a half ago, and...I haven't been able to wear any of it without throwing a sweater on top! Today was the last straw, though. I got new flip-flops (finally!).

Let me tell you a story about flip-flops: I don't like them. Never have. Not the flimsy, $2, Old Navy kind that everyone wears, anyway. I agree that they're easy to slip on as you run out the door, and they're cheap and easy to replace, but come on. They're ugly, and cheap, and I refuse to wear them. (Well, the cheap rubber kind at least.)

I do have a pair of Diane von Furstenberg flip-flops (that, for the record, are almost two years old and still functioning), and last year I bought a pair of black Polo ones. Unfortunately I made the mistake of throwing them in the washing machine once, and they did not survive that too well, so I've been on the lookout for a replacement pair for a while now...and today I found some! Josh and I were at TJ Maxx when I spotted these adorable black (Coach) flip-flops with a sweet little bow on them.



And I bought them. Duh. They're plastic, which makes for easy cleaning, and way durable, and, they actually have grip on the bottom! Bonus. These are easily going to become my go-to slip on everyday shoe.

Yesterday my newest bracelet arrived, a Marc by Marc Jacobs black/white leather piece, very cute:



I love it! (bottom one is also Marc by Marc Jacobs, but I already had it...just hadn't taken a picture yet!)

Anyway, I have one more thing coming, a dress that should be here Thursday, and then it's back to a self-imposed shopping ban for April.

Today (Tuesday) was the only day this week I didn't have a doctors appointment. Yesterday I saw the orthopedic specialist, tomorrow I see the psychiatrist, Thursday the eye doctor, and Friday I have an MRI on my knee. It sucks. I absolutely hate going to the doctor, any doctor, but it is a necessary evil. I'm just ready for it to be over with! At least yesterday's was the only early appointment, the rest of them are in the afternoon, so I don't have to get up early.

In other news, I kind of got off-track with my goals this month. Like I said before, it ended up being a really strange month, but I know that's no excuse. Obviously I'm still restricted from working out (doctors orders), but I'm trying to get back to eating right. I did ok while my parents were here, but since I was sick last week, I wasn't eating much at all, and now I'm trying to get back in the habit of cooking daily. (Which is only hard because doing that produces a lot of dishes, and loading/unloading the dishwasher is painful due to a lot of knee-bending.) I have only lost one pound so far this month - I'm not really pleased with that, but I'll take it. It's better than a gain.

Since I've got a lot going on the rest of the week I might not have time to post until the weekend, but I hope everyone is having a good week! Maybe it'll warm up and I can wear my new shoes out sometime this weekend! :)

Emotional exhaustion

Anxiety attacks are so depleting. They take so much raw energy, so much emotion, but afterwards, even if there has been no resolution to the problem(s) you were stressed out about, you're so exhausted from the anxiety attack itself that it's typically easier to rest then.

Or at least that's been my experience with them.

I am supposed to be gone right now. Driving Josh to the airport, sending him off on the first business trip he's had to take in two years, but instead I'm sitting home, trying to keep my knee from swelling up even more, and wishing that anxiety was a curable disease...and that I was cured.

What actually set me off is not the fact that he was leaving, though, I'm okay with that; what I'm not okay with is the idea of having to drive to and from Little Rock (I've only been once, Josh drove and we just went to Whole Foods and back) alone. I'm good with directions, and have driven all over the place, from South Texas to Pittsburgh, and everywhere in between, but usually not alone. Plus, my knee is really messed up, worse than I initially thought it was, and being in a car that long would have been terribly uncomfortable.

I feel bad about it, but in a few ways it is more convenient this way. Less gas, less wear on the car, and I don't have to be worried about picking him up, and flight delays, and what not. He'll just drive himself home when he gets in.

I won't be stuck without a car, though, my parents are coming up later today, and they'll stay until Thursday...so I'll be alone (with the animals) until this afternoon, then again on Thursday for a few more hours. No big deal. Even if they weren't coming, I don't think I would have minded being car-less for a few days, not like I'm the type to run around and do stuff alone.

My appointment with the orthopedic specialist isn't until the 25th of this month, but if things get too much worse I may end up back at the regular doctors office before then. It's not really that it's painful, in fact the only time it really hurts is when I twist it to the side, it's just uncomfortable. It feels tight, almost like it needs to pop, but it's popped multiple times and that never seems to relieve any of the pressure. The only way I can describe it is like a rubber band that's stretched too far. It also kind of feels like my thigh muscle is pushing on my knee. It's gross, and weird, and I'm tired of it.

But despite all of that I am really looking forward to spending some time with my parents this week! Hopefully I'll be able to do something other than just sit around all week, my mom and I have a wonderful tradition of shopping that I can't imagine us not participating in any time we're together. ;)

We also have to go to ReStore, I have a few bags to donate, and my mom said she was bringing a few bags of clothes that someone gave her so that I could look through and see if anything struck my fancy, and if not we'd just donate all that too. I haven't done anything else since I hemmed up those shorts last week, there's nowhere for me to elevate my leg when I'm sitting at my craft table.

Josh got to DJ again on Thursday night. He could have on Friday too, but he wasn't scheduled too, so he was drinking...and he didn't want to embarrass himself. He ended up doing that anyway, mostly just because he gets ridiculous when he's drunk, but that's not nearly as bad as messing up a music set in front of a crowd of drunk people trying to dance. Then, he passed out in the car, and only woke up to tell me what a great pace I had going, and how well I was passing everyone without bumping them. (We were the only people on the road the whole way home.) I think he's been watching too much Nascar!

I'm making pancakes for my parents this week, I think I'm going to try the apple ones, so hopefully I remember to document the recipe and post it. I'm going to go finish trying to make almond butter now, and then hopefully get some rest before my parents get here!

P.S. If you're into dance music, Josh finally made a fan page on facebook...he posted a video I took the other night, and he's going to be adding some mixes soon so check it out!