05 August, 2014

Save Tonight

I haven't written in a good while. Life is still pretty average. We are moving, although not to the west coast as we had talked about originally. Just back to Texas. More on that as the time draws near...I feel like if I say anything or get too excited I'll jinx it. (I know, I KNOW, but just deal with it, k?) We're supposed to go in one month to find a place and if all goes well then I'll talk about it. :)

I'm going through this weird period of like...not caring. Gah, that sounds weird. I mean I do care about stuff, I care a lot because that's my nature, but I'm kind of learning, finally, to be at peace with my own decisions and quit thinking of what other people will think when I make them. Ugh that makes it sound like I used to be all...caring and...ok. Let me start over. I've never been too intent on what the general population thought of me or my life, but I've always been more rigid in my decisions that could be judged by people close to me (parents, extended family, family friends, etc.), because my immediate family has always kind of been the black sheep, and I don't like to give the extended family any more reason to talk about us, or give my parents hell if they see stuff I'm doing online that I don't bother telling my mom about. Make sense? So what I'm saying is that now I really just don't care. Fuck them if they wanna talk shit about my life. I'm married, happily, we're doing well, I don't get handouts from anyone, and my life is great. Who cares if I have naked parties with my friends and get tagged in pictures? My friends that choose to keep me in their lives are my real fam, ya dig?

Anyway, sorry, my ghetto started to come out a little there. I get impassioned sometimes. Uhm, in other news my sleep pattern is still completely whack. Mostly stopped caring about that too since it's usually too fucking muggy to go outside anyway. I love humidity but I hate mosquitoes and them bitches are hella everywhere this year.

Also, my body has recently started doing this thing where basically all fast food (and cheese) tastes like shit and I'm craving pretty salads and chicken of all things. So, I mean, cool, like that makes it easier to eat healthy, it's just kind of strange and makes me think I might be dying. I quit drinking caffeine with no issue, and that's never happened before, I always get migraines. Yeah, pretty sure I'm dying.

Man, I really feel like I've just lost all inhibitions and become a completely different person this summer. But honestly this is what I've always been like on the inside, and it feels so good to just set it free and not be worried about 'did I say that out loud' or 'am I gonna get home and be tagged in crazy pictures'. WHO CARES?!!? Not me. My cover photo on facebook is of me and two other friends in our panties. My husband took it. My life is insanely awesome. 

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